Tony blairs idea of "Cleaning up the countryside" involves a troupe of clowns in white cars brandishing high voltage guns and more curtian twitching than a hummingbird could manage,as usual he's ingoring the causes of all the problems in the first place-heres how to break down those barriers,make the locals think (if at all possible) and have some radical subversive fun while doing it!

• Try "Answering" any graffiti that has questions or statements in it,dont get caught
• Dont get involved in any "Village gossip",its probably bollocks and probably harmful
• Ignore hosepipe bans,it'll convince the water company to get thier act together
• Be friendly and helpful where at all possible,this will confuse and unbalance your enemy
• Play SLF and similar songs on your car stereo when driving around,loudly
• Protest against mobile phone masts and support wind farms,try to con others into doing the same
• Sabotage,sabotage,sabotage the hunt today-sabotage,sabotage,sabotage it any way!
• Make people from different countries welcome in the village if they move houses to there,might even get the right wingers thinking
• Dont phone the police if the party next door is too loud,a load of drunk and angry mentalists roaming the streets at night is worse
• Get radical stickers such as ANL ones and stick them around,people expect them in cities but in small village it might shock them into stopping and reading (Yes i know the ANL and SWP are supposedly wankers but i couldnt think of any other left-wing organisation that prouduces stickers right now)
• Be nice to jehovas witnesses and tell political canvassers to fuck off
• Sabotage and ruin anything that suggests keeping or restoring the imperial system
• Dont bother with neighbourhood watch schemes,they never work
• Mess up countryside alliance marches as much as possible
• Trespass on big feilds,its your land!
• Campaign for better public transport in the country,stop people driving everywhere
• ..and make sure you use it as much as you can
• Actually use the recycling bottle banks ect if they are there
• Dont vote in the local bi-elections,think that went without saying...
• If you suspect a curtian twitcher is watching you turn round suddenly and wave or blow kisses at them,they wont be doing that again for a while
• Dont pay the TV licence,they never check in the villages.Also remember they have no legal right to enter your house or make you sign anything.For added bonuses spray paint "Twats" or something on the side of the detector van
• Support local small businesses as much as possible